Once I was walking on the streets and I realised a man was yelling at someone; at first I thought it was me whom he was shouting at.
But then I saw that it was his wife.
They were arguing as if acting in any movie or web series. This is surely going to become an issue of contention in the future. But how do you avoid such situations?
There’s no relationship on earth that’s perfect. There are problems in every relationship.
But it doesn’t mean that we go on fighting and ruining relationships under the guise of problems and arguments being normal. We all have come across such a couple once in our lives, and if you haven’t, life isn’t over yet.
Constant bickering about issues or landing in loud fights can put a dent in your relationship.
Often during a fight, we spill things we don’t actually mean, which adds to the dent, making it deeper, which you surely cannot afford as no mechanic can bring the originality back.
According to one study, the most common cause of arguments included one partner not showing enough love or affection, a partner not feeling appreciated, jealousy or possessiveness, housekeeping, and chores.
If you are one of those couples looking for a healthier relationship, follow up for solutions.
Don’t always drag the past
For your and your partner’s mental peace, it’s very important to stop reliving the past. Whatever is done is done and cannot be changed no matter what you do, until it’s 2070 and we have a time machine, maybe.
If you used to feel that they were not caring enough but when you confronted they started to show changes, then saying that they were not caring in the past would do harm to your relationship.
Or maybe saying that they were not the one who proposed first. Also, never taunt your partner with the experiences of past relationships. It’s advisable not to dwell on the past for a healthy relationship.
Never drag your partner’s parents into the argument
When we are teenagers, we all see our parents as the biggest enemies of ours and think of leaving the house for further studies. Sooner or later, we will realise how wrong we were.
But if you have held on to this until now, not for your own parents but for your partner’s, then it’s equally wrong.
Blaming them or dragging them into arguments over your other half’s behaviour is something that would obviously hurt them and incite them against you.
There’s no denial to the fact that we learn things from our home and parents, and it’s reflected in our behavior.
But it doesn’t mean that we totally don’t have our own conscience and are guided by the things we have been taught by others.
Also, no parent intends to raise their children to be someone unliked by others.
Don’t involve a third person
It’s often seen that we discuss the ups and downs of our relationship with someone. Sometimes the issues start eating us up from the inside, and we are in a need of talking to someone. But that someone can be your partner too.
While asking a third person to resolve the issue between you guys can sometimes help, it’s not advisable to take up this option every time things go wrong.
It can make your partner think that you don’t want to put in much efforts and the relationship is slowly growing into a hollow.
You know your problems better than anyone else. Talking with them brings up interpretations of them that may have hurt them, and you can clarify your stance because many a time we misinterpret and keep cussing over it.
Take a break
Like I told you earlier, we used to think of life as a bed of roses after leaving home for further studies or a job because we wouldn’t be under the restrictions of our parents.
But little did we realise that what we thought to be the worst phase of our lives was actually the best.
That’s what you need to do for your relationship. The one you are now thinking of as your enemy can be the one you have always looked for.
If nothing is working out, neither communication nor togetherness, give break a try.
But have a proper communication about you guys being on break; otherwise, you would surely be another Ross and Rachel.
Taking a break from the relationship gives you time and space to figure things out and make decisions. You may be at fault too, which you will realise during this break.
So instead of being tightly packed and breaking, give some space to come up with solutions.
Watch your tone
Just as much as your actual words, your tone has the power to put your partner on the defensive.
Make sure you do it without shouting, sarcasm, or interruptions when you make your “I statement” or begin a conversation with your partner.
According to one expert, 38% of a message is conveyed through vocal elements other than your words. A conversation might start since your partner won’t feel judged if you employ the correct tone.
Using the wrong tone ends the exchange and converts it into a dispute. It’s the way stand-up comedians speak that makes you laugh more than the actual sentences or words.
While it’s totally normal to argue sometimes, arguing every other day or frequently is not. Communication and the fulfilment of needs are two important steps towards healthy relationships.
