Emotional Intelligence, or EQ, is a concept that is relatively new in both pop culture and psychology today, but it has always existed. Being intellectual (i.e., having a high IQ) and being emotionally intelligent (EQ), which is the capacity to comprehend, manage, and actively regulate your emotions, are two of the most crucial traits for success in life, both at work and at home. We have all encountered individuals who seem to possess a natural capacity to maintain composure and emotional maturity.
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So what is the difference between someone who is emotionally intelligent and someone who is not?
1. They don’t behave insensitively
People with strong emotional intelligence are very sensitive to the sentiments and emotions of others. They take care to be sensitive to other people’s feelings as a result of this awareness. They might ask the cashier, “How’s your day going?” when they are in a store. They exhibit genuine concern for other people and how their style of interaction impacts others. This is also referred to as empathy, which is the act of placing oneself in the shoes of another.
2. They don’t get caught up in other people’s drama
Empathy is one of the characteristics of emotional intelligence, and people with high EQs show it to everyone they come into contact with. However, there is a huge difference between showing empathy for a friend or loved one and letting their wrath or unhappiness to infuriate, dominate, or even just have an impact on one’s well-being. Consider the hysterical actions of a coworker who is “distraught” by her friend’s breakup rather than herself going through one. Or your cousin who, instead of concentrating on her own personal problems, deliberately seeks out other people who are in distress in order to distract herself from her own problems. This behaviour is so ingrained that she is unable to address the problems in her own life.
3. They don’t always say yes
Self-control and conviction are unmistakable indicators of an emotionally stable individual, much as empathy. Emotionally intelligent people understand that having a second drink will have bad effects the next day, just as they understand that being invited on a spontaneous weekend rendezvous will prevent them from keeping their prior obligations. Instead of responding, “I don’t know, maybe?” or “Perhaps I’ll skip the gym today,” which promotes doubt and, with it, increased worry and even sadness, they make decisions with certainty.
4. They Won’t Dwell on Problems
Your emotional state depends on where you direct your attention. Fixating on your problems causes tension and bad emotions to build up over time, which impairs performance. When you concentrate on taking steps to improve your situation and yourself, you develop a sense of personal effectiveness that boosts happiness and enhances performance. People with emotional intelligence avoid dwelling on issues since they are aware that finding solutions is where they will be most productive.
5. They don’t engage in negative self-talk
Few of us are completely immune to thinking (or making) negative comments that start with “I” (such as “I’m ugly,” “I should have done better,” or “I’m pathetic”), but emotionally intelligent people are able to stop negative ideas before they go too far. Instead, they base their decisions on facts. For some, it only takes a cursory look at the accomplishments and experience listed on their CVs; for others, it involves an Internal evaluation of what they did well or the appearance of a tidy and organised home. After all, emotionally intelligent people acknowledge that negative thoughts are just that — thoughts — just as they recognize that the derogatory interior voices they hear are theirs to turn down, tune out, or silence completely.
Empathy is one of the most important skills you can develop in your life. It will help you understand what other people are feeling and make it easier for you to get along with them.