Exploring Theories Behind Why We Fall in Love

Love Theories

Why do we fall in love? Why do some love stories last and others don’t. Psychologists and researchers have proposed several different theories of love to explain how it forms as well as how it endures.

When you experience love, your bodily chemistry, especially your neurotransmitters, alters dramatically (brain chemicals). It has a variety of effects on your social interactions, changing how you interact with those around you.

For a long time, many suggested that love was something too primal, mysterious, and spiritual for science to ever fully understand.

When it comes to finding love and hitting it off with a date, psychologists Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick have identified four theories, as outlined in the APA Handbook of Personality and Social Psychology, to explain why people become romantically attracted to one another.

Table of Content

We would be discussing these theories and you can find out which one is most relevant to your love story. Why did you fall in love?

1. The Reward Theory

The essence of this theory lies in the middle word, Reward. It says that people are likely to fall in love with someone whose behaviour would be rewarding, i.e., beneficial for them. This is reason why people are naturally attracted to attractive and successful people so they will be associated with those positive characteristics.

You may also find yourself adoring someone from your profession who’s excelling and want to spenf more time with. The reason being you feel that you would eventually learn and grow under their vicinity and have someone with a personality you adore and is respected by others.

2. The Evolutionary Theory

According to the evolutionary theory of love, love serves to entice and hold onto a partner in order to procreate and then take care of the progeny that results. In other words, successful reproduction is our ultimate aim, and the romantic love we feel is only a tool to help us get there. Our chances of successfully becoming parents are increased when we are connected by love to another person.

This theory also contends that while we all share the same ultimate objective, males and females select mates for various reasons. Different behaviours in regards to attraction, promiscuity, and jealousy are predicted.

3. The Attachment Theory

The attachment theory of love states that the type of attachment style one develops through their childhood relationship with their caregiver plays a role in one`s relationships in adulthood.

The relationships they have are very important to people with this attachment type, but they frequently feel apprehensive and scared that their partner is not as invested in the relationship as they are.

The partner and the relationship itself are frequently the source of both desire and terror for people with this attachment pattern.

4. The Instrumentality Theory

The Finkel and Eastwick suggest instrumentality theory in place of the helpful but rather constrained reward, evolutionary, and attachment theories. They contend that people are driven to accomplish a variety of objectives in life, including having confidence in oneself, beginning a family, and feeling safe and secure.

The dating partner who is most helpful in achieving the objective that is most essential at the moment is probably the most beautiful. Future research is required to evaluate the instrumentality theory, however it Is conceivable that the definition of attractiveness may vary based on the outcomes a dater seeks.

5. Conculsion

There are numerous hypotheses on how love develops and changes. Each one adds to our understanding of this feeling in its own unique way, offering a variety of potential explanations for how love-based relationships start, develop, and evolve.


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