To love and be loved is one of our most basic human wants. One would imagine that choosing partners who are a good fit for us would be simple given that we are hardwired for relationships from the minute we are born. But the truth is that a lot of individuals frequently choose the incorrect spouse, which leads to them feeling uncomfortable (and perhaps completely hurt) in their relationship. When a relationship is wrong, for some people it’s simple to end it; for others, it’s more difficult. Many people continue to be in relationships even when they are unhappy because they know in their hearts that their partner is not the right one.
There are many reasons why people decide to stay together even though they’re dissatisfied with their current relationship, a few of them are discussed.
1. Fear of hurting our partners
According to recent studies, people persist in unhappy relationships out of fear of upsetting their partners’ sentiments.
People are most frequently prevented from going forward into a life that could be less comfortable but ultimately happier and more authentic by underlying worries and insecurities. These couples frequently opt for a “good enough” union. However, there comes a time when it becomes abundantly clear that the relationship is clearly not working and that staying would be worse for the unhappy party than leaving would be for their partner.
2. You Believe Your Relationship Will Complete You
There is a huge mistake that many people make when looking for a partner. It is the belief that a romantic relationship is the key to being happy. It’s not true. In fact, this mindset may actually be sabotaging your experience of finding a partner. Here’s why: Other people can feel it when you have anxiety about finding love. When you approach a relationship from a sense of emptiness inside, the people you’re dating will sense it and it won’t feel good to them. When you’re confident, the energy you give off will convey that being in a relationship is your choice, not a dire need. When you have that underlying feeling of needing to find a relationship out of fear, your entire vibe can change from calm and collected to insecure and riddled with selfdoubt.
We are subconsciously drawn to the comfortable as people. Many of us choose partners who support us in staying in our comfort zones, even when those zones end up being less than ideal. We will be drawn to situations in which we experience the same emotions as adults, for instance, if our past was characterised by feelings of rejection or inadequacy. Imagine the following case: It’s possible that you are initially drawn to someone whose attention makes you feel good about yourself, but over time you begin to notice that your partner is distant and can be dismissive. This will confirm your feelings of inadequacy and cause you to experience anxiety. It will also cause you to fear rejection.
4. Long Relationship
Older couples or those who have been together for a long time are more likely to experience this; both partners have put a lot of time and effort into the relationship and don’t want it to end in failure. With the potential for a messy divorce or breakup that would have a significant impact on everyone concerned, splitting up can be more difficult when there are children and financial ties involved.
A spouse will put their own happiness last if they aren’t happy in the relationship. They will prioritise the convenience of remaining as a unit and the demands of the family. A long-term couple may nevertheless feel obligated to stay together even without having children.
5. The Alternative Is Too Scary
Because it’s something we understand, as humans we like to stay to familiar situations; radically changing that might induce feelings of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty. Simply said, it’s likely that you will end your relationship if you consider being alone or dating someone else to be preferable to your current situation. You’re more likely to stay if you think the alternatives would be too radical a change or not worth leaving your spouse for.
Always remember relationship should be a win-win situation!