Unrequited love isn’t present in all one-sided relationships. There are certain couples where one partner exerts more effort than the other, leading to an unbalanced bond. The majority of people in long-term relationships can relate to the feeling of exerting more time and effort than their partner. Sometimes, it’s true that you’re contributing more than you should. Sometimes it might not be. How do you distinguish between the two? Fortunately, there are a few obvious signs that can let you know for sure.
In one-sided relationships, there’s a breakdown in communication. Oftentimes, one person makes more of an effort in initiating and maintaining dialogue. If it feels like a burden to do most of the ‘work’ to stay in touch with your partner, it’s ok to share how you feel.
A one-sided relationship is one that is unbalanced and unfairly lacking in reciprocity. According to Mychelle Williams, M.A., LPC, “A relationship that lacks balance or equitable reciprocity may appear as one person investing more time, energy, effort, emotional support, or financial support than the other.”
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It’s normal to want your relationship to feel balanced, and it’s all too typical to occasionally feel that way. When things are tense, it might be challenging to see your relationship clearly. It can be useful to be aware of some of the indications that your relationship may be one-sided.
1. You don’t experience a powerful, intense, or significant connection
Lack of a strong bond between spouses is a sign of a one-sided relationship. There may be an issue if you feel more like roommates than soulmates.
By making an effort to spend time together, you may revitalise your relationship. This can be challenging, to be sure, given how hectic most people’s lives are these days. To achieve long-term satisfaction in any relationship, it is necessary to cultivate a strong and meaningful connection.
2. They aren’t there for you like you are there for them
You should be aware that you provide for them, but you cannot claim that they consistently provide for you. According to Williams, a one-sided relationship is evident if you find yourself having to satisfy all of their desires rather than going through a cycle of compromise. If they only call you when they need something but are unavailable to you when you have a similar need, take note.
Basically, things will start to fall apart quickly if your partner doesn’t have your back. Because emotional signs are missed and ignored, confrontations and disagreements may be harder to resolve and the same problems frequently come up again. That missing component will appear considerably larger in the absence of the emotional support and encouragement.
3. You are insecure
You keep making your best efforts, yet nothing changes. Over time, you start to doubt your value and think that your demands aren’t significant enough to be discussed. After all, wouldn’t they want to see you happy if you were good enough? You may go around in circles trying to figure out why they aren’t making the same effort.
Additionally, you doubt not only your efforts but also your value and appeal. Do I look good enough? Clever enough? Humorous enough? According to Weber, if you find yourself constantly assessing whether you meet your partner’s expectations, your relationship may be one-sided.
4. They aren’t making a “love map”
This phrase comes from psychologist John Gottman, who is renowned for his work on marriage and divorce. A person’s inner world—their hopes, dreams, desires, fears, insecurities, experiences, memories—everything that makes them, well, them—is how their significant other sees it. This is known as a “love map.”
A one-sided relationship is evident if the person you’re seeing isn’t making an effort to understand the pieces on your mental chess board. This is something that takes time to develop, so the effort should be ongoing.
5. Your partner says you “want too much”
Is it “too much” to want to hang out over the weekend? To wish to meet his family “too much” To reveal your feelings would be “too much”? According to Dixon-Fyle, many partners in one-sided relationships are either unwilling or uninterested in contributing more. Sadly, she adds, “the least devoted individual typically has the most power.”
While it’s true that most people enter a relationship with some sort of preconceived notion about how they’ll be treated, expectations often get a poor rap in the dating industry. In fact, it’s a sign that you value yourself enough to want to be recognised and appreciated to have firm limits in your love relationships.
It doesn’t necessarily Indicate that your relationship is finished if you notice one or more of these indicators of a one-sided relationship. It does imply that in order to have a successful relationship, you will need to invest some time and effort into resolving the underlying problems that have harmed it. Consult a relationship therapist if necessary. You may find that online couples counselling is all you need to objectively and effectively view and handle your problems.